How to get your child to practice guitar

Many parents worry that they may be too strict with their children when it comes to learning guitar. Their main fear is they will turn them off music forever. We have all heard stories of adults who say as a child they were forced to learn a musical instrument but many of these examples do not give the full story.

Cause and effect

Many adults have negative memories of a childhood revolving around daily arguments with their parents sometimes resulting in complete rebellion usually by their early teens. In search of the source of such arguments they often site being forced to learn a musical instrument. The problem with this theory is it concludes that when children are forced to learn something against their will they automatically resent their parents but we know this is simply not true. In fact much of our childhood is made up of forced learning yet we show very little if any resentment toward our parents for forcing us to read, write, solve math problems let alone forcing us to go to school and learn for 6 hours a day for 12 years.

Are you strict about teeth cleaning?

My guess is you have no hesitation in insisting your child to go to bed on time, brush their teeth, do their homework etc but do you treat guitar practice the same? There is nothing wrong with being strict about their practice just don't be cruel. By cruel I mean there is no need to physically or mentally inflict punishment onto your child.  When your child does not practice simply send them to their room and withdraw all privileges like TV, Internet etc until they have done their practice. It really is that simple. Once they realise there is no negotiation they will practice without resistance and the result will be progress which in itself becomes the motivator. This strategy works but you may very well get a few tears and tantrums early on but its quite normal.

A musical voice is a gift

The ability to play a musical instrument like guitar should not be underestimated. The guitar has given me thousands of hours of pleasure. Its also a great way to make friends and be sociable. Many of my best memories are of jams in a room filled with musicians. Learning music also develops the brain in a way that in recent years has been found to reduce the effects of brain ageing (E.g. dementia) not to mention the many findings around general cognitive improvement. If physically exercise is good for your body I believe learning a musical instrument is equally good for your brain and general well being. In this age of instant gratification learning to play a musical instrument also offers children important life lessons around learning skills that take time to develop. The ability to play a musical instrument is a gift that any parent can give to their child.

Tips on helping your child to succeed.

Now I also have some tips for parents that will increase the chances of your child becoming a success on guitar and they are as follows; 

1. Realistic expectations. Many children think learning guitar is all fun and no work. Dispelling this myth from the outset will set realistic expectations. 
2. Get involved. Parents who leave it totally up to their child will usually be disappointed. Getting involved builds confidence and encourages practice because all children seek parental attention. At first sit with them everyday. Even better try learning with them. Overtime you can gradually back away.
3. Be consistent and persistent. Set a time each day for practice and stick to it. E.g. 5 pm each weekday. If their routine is broken try to get back on track asap. 
4. Make it a game. When they are doing a particular exercise make a game out of it. Clap along. Sing along. Point to notes and ask them the names of notes.
5. Monitor their progress. If they know you are cheering them on they are more likely to want to practice. Children love to impress their parents but to impress you they need to see that their achievements matter to you. Applaud even the smallest of achievements.
6. Praise behaviour over results. The behaviour we seek is simply daily practice. Try not to focus on results too much. Praising them for practicing will encourage more practice. If its all about results children are more likely to give up before they get a result.
7. Communicate with their teacher. I (David Hart) have personally been teaching guitar for over 25 years and I have noticed that when parents ask questions they are better able to help their children in the learning process.
8. Focus on the positive. Its best to look at what they are doing well and highlight the fact. E.g. "WOW! 3 hours of practice this week. Isn't that a new record?"
9. Focus on practice. - Remember its the habit of practice we want to cultivate. Studies show that results come ultimately to those who practice the most.
10. Ask your child to teach you. Children love to show off what they know. If you get them to give you a lesson every week it will reinforce their knowledge while also boosting their confidence.

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"I cannot get her to practice at all. HELP"

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"When will I be able to play a song on guitar?"

This is the question almost all guitar students ask their teachers. Lets face it, we learn guitar to play songs. Most students initially don't mind if they are easy guitar songs as long as they sound like something they know. 

The answer to your question

My answer to guitar students is simple. You can play a song on guitar right now if you can strum. Simply tune the guitar to any chord you like and play a one chord song. The real question you should be asking your teacher is not when but what can you play. Your guitar playing will evolve with practice. There is no end point. The skills you posses now will allow you to play certain songs and as you develop more and more songs will be within your skill set. 

Find guitar songs around your level

There are always more guitar songs out there to challenge you so all I can say is enjoy the current challenge. If you feel frustrated chances are you are trying to play songs on guitar that you are just not ready for. If you really want to play a song on guitar now just ask your guitar teacher to show you a song within your current range of guitar skills.

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How do I get my child started learning music?

Many parents ask the question of when should their child begin to learn music. The short answer is 'As soon as possible'. Even before we are born we are able hear sounds. Researchers found that music played to babies after 20 weeks from conception caused a response in the womb and even recall after birth. Although science still has much to learn about the full effects I can personally vouch for the value of starting to learn music early as many of my best students over the years were introduced to music at a very early age.

Where do you start? Music learning is similar to language. Its starts with listening (exposure) by playing music at home, playing an instrument or singing songs. A musical home environment is really the best way to inspire and introduce your child to learning music.

What songs should you play or sing? Remember its like learning a language so although most music will be good they recommend more relaxing music. Babies can be sensitive to loud sudden noise as we all are if we were not expecting it I guess.

I found a great website full of children's songs called BusSongs.com As far as I can tell its free and will give you access to lots of children's song and includes the lyrics, melody and even some videos.

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If you are a parent check out the ParentalGuidanceInfo.com website.

3 reasons people quit guitar.

1. No time. Time is the one thing we all get equally yet some  manage their 24 hours a day far better than others. When we claim we have no time we are usually lying to ourselves. What we actually have is a lack of organisation in our lives. The solution is to write down your priorities and then schedule those priorities beginning at the top of your list. If guitar is too far down on your list that you run out of time on your schedule you have two choices. Either move it up the list or forget about learning guitar. Why stress yourself out? Either you have the time or you don't. Your priorities will change so you can always come back to it once you finish university or building your dream home or scaling Mt Everest.

2. No money. I often here people claiming they want to learn guitar but can't afford to. I argue that guitar is perhaps one of the least expensive things you can do. Learning guitar will likely save you money. Most musicians would must prefer to be jamming with friends than going out on the town. Its more fun and lot less expensive.  Guitars are cheap, maintenance costs are very low and guitar lessons are affordable for almost anyone. When people say they can't afford it I ask them how much they think it will cost and then explain the real cost and most are pleasantly surprised.

3. No patience. Some students expect too much too soon. I know I did as a teen. Its what I call the 'Are we there yet' syndrome. Learning guitar usually takes longer than you think and far too often impatience sets in before reaching your goals. My suggestion is to find a teacher not just because they will help you to learn faster but because they will keep you motivated and put your learning in perspective. My blogs revolve largely around the psychology of learning guitar because your mind will be your biggest hurdle not your hands when it comes to learning guitar. Master your mind and you will succeed.

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What age can children learn guitar?

Most people are surprised when I say children can start guitar from as you as young as 2 years old. In actual fact it really shouldn't be surprising because many children learn instruments like violin from 2 years and most would agree that violin is equally if not more challenging than guitar.


Children are smarter than we think 


If adults were able to learn at the same rate as a child we would all be much smarter than Einstein, Tesla & Feynman put together. Learning slows down as we age not because we want it to but growing brains are making many more new connections. It no doubt has a lot to do with survival. 


Watch them learn


Think about how quickly a child learns to speak a language, walk, read, socialise and about a thousand other things all at once. Why then would the guitar be so impossible? It's not. Those who promote guitar is only suitable for 6yo and over just don't know how. A two year is more than ready to learn guitar but we just need to understand as adults how to do it.


What parents can do

It is not so much about the child but the adults (parents, teachers etc.) around them that make the difference. Firstly parents need to understand that just because their 2 year old is just banging the guitar at first it does not mean its a waste of time. Children need to explore the guitar and learn to associate it with playing. If a parent picks up a guitar each day your child will probably do the same and this is the first step. 


Find the right teacher


All teachers can teach young children but many simply lack confidence and experience. Some even believe its impossible so as a parent don't be put off if you have trouble finding a teacher at first. Try asking around in your area until you find the right teacher. In the meantime you as a parent can take up the guitar and this will encourage your child to also learn.

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Why won't my child do her/his guitar practice?

Very good question and one that I often hear from frustrated parents. In fact all parents will usually have to ask this question at some point because rare is the child who conscientiously practices without the need for parent intervention. Let us say your 6 year old has come home from school all excited asking if they can learn guitar. Your initial response might be "Why not? Learning music is a good thing right?" My answer to that is yes it is good for any child BUT are you as a parent prepared to take on yet another activity? What do I mean? Well the fact is most parents of young children who take up learning guitar or any musical instrument for that matter don't realise that they are also signing up for  lessons except in a different role. Let me explain in more detail.

A child's success depends on at least one parent

When children go to school they are learning for around 25 hours a week. This amount of time ensures your child will learn regardless of parental support. With a weekly 30 minute guitar lesson this is most definitely not the case. The real work is done at home and it is usually done by at least one parent. Unfortunately a 30 minute lesson once a week with a teacher will not be enough to succeed on guitar. The minimum practice time required would be 1 to 2 hours per week preferably done by practicing on a daily basis and this needs to be monitored and supported by a parent. When it comes to learning guitar the success of your child is largely dependent on you the parent. 

Parent and child working together

My advice is to initially work with your child as a 50/50 partner by establishing a daily practice routine as you would with any daily task. E.g. Brushing teeth, getting dressed etc. Learning music requires self-discipline and most young children are still learning this all important life lesson. In fact learning to play guitar is one of the best ways for a child to learn self-discipline. You should expect your child to lose motivation at times but this is when they need your reassurance, encouragement and support. If you find you are still having difficulty getting your child to practice its time to talk to the teacher or feel free to email me.

Building your child's confidence

Some parents feel their child needs to want to learn guitar with out any need for them to be involved. I have met parents who quite clearly state "It's up to him/her. I am happy to pay for the lessons but he/she needs to show me they are committed by practicing". This approached is almost always doomed. It would be like giving your child a book and asking them to practice reading each day. They need your help.   The winning strategy is to be involved as much as possible at the beginning and gradually pull away as they learn to do it without you. Its all about confidence building.

The gift of guitar

The biggest and often most disappointing scenario I see is when a parent suddenly announces their child will no longer be learning guitar. In almost every case when there is an opportunity to investigate we find the child is not practicing and the parent has not spoken to the teacher about the problem.  Parents simply see their child is not enjoying the guitar so put an end to the apparent misery. With communication this can all be easily avoided. Our success rate when given the chance to understand the issues around practice are close to 100% so if you are a parent and getting your child to practice is an overwhelming challenge or your child does not appear to be enjoying the guitar please speak to your teacher or email myself. Personally I believe the greatest gift my parents gave me was the ability to play guitar and it was that ongoing support that made the difference.

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